The Preparation (not for the weak hearted) . . .

The turkey. Pour five gallons of peanut oil into the pot . . .
Light the burner, then place the pot of oil on the burner.  The oil needs to heat up to 360 degrees Farenheit (this takes about 20 minutes with the industrial-sized burner we were using). Try that on your miniscule indoor stovetop!
Test the oil by frying some french-fries (a tasty appetizer). Mmmmm - delicious, and we know the oil is ready . . .

Are your ready for more?  Then go on to the zen of frying . . .